"it is hard to be left behind.. it is hard to be the one who stays" - time travelers wifemy father, an OFW's husband
this is a story of my father, a father who patiently wait, i am not sure what is in his mind and heart. i am not sure what he feels, but i am sure that he is waiting.
it is a long wait indeed..and he is still waiting...
year 1998 when mama decided to leave the country to work abroad as domestic helper to seek for a greener pasture. those memories were blur to me, i just remember the scenario that we borrowed my uncle's motorcycle and drove my mother to our town for her to catch a bus going to the city. the thing that was on my mind at that time though i am aware of the truth was that she would only go for a meeting/seminar which she usually does since she was the baranggay secretary. i was looking forward for her to come home the next few days with "pasalubong" (apple and humpy dumpy - me and my brother's favorite) . i was in a hurry because i was afraid to be late since it was june and it was the first day of school.
few days later, i came to understand and it sink in on me that mama will never come home for a very long time. not just weeks, months nor a year. i sniffed on the clothes that she last wore, longing for her scent and just cried in silent. i never ask papa nor talked to him about it. there are instances that i witnessed him crying in silent while he is feeding our pigs in the pig cage at our backyard. and according to our neighbors they also saw him crying in the field while letting our carabao roam around to eat .
a couple of months had passed, papa begun to lose weight and our house became messy, so messy. papa is a farmer, he took care of us and also the fields. i and my brother begun to be stubborn, lazy and spoiled. we begun to demand things.
my brother was more affected with the turn of events in our life, he became a brat, spoiled and stubborn. he always climbed to a santol tree in our yard and threw stones into our house, he did not like to take a bath and go to school but papa manage him to. while me, i just like to watch tv at my grandfather's house, we did not own yet a tv on that time. i do not like to take a bath too and i was always late in school. i cannot clearly remember those times it is just we became wild and crazy and lazy and everything. and there was a time that my brother shoot papa with a stone using a sling.
yet, he is patient. he beg for us to be good kids and tried not to scold us. but our attitude is not tolerable he sometimes cried in front of us but we did not mind. or sometime he would spank us, but we did not care, we became more stubborn.
he is weak, yes. he sometimes go with his friends and get drunk, maybe to forget his loneliness. we did not care. we really don't care. all we care is our self, our needs, our wants.
he tried to provide us with delicious food, he bought us milk (bearbrand) and vitamins (nutriflex). he did everything just to comply our needs and wants with all his might. and we want more. we are not satisfied
he spoke to our teachers when we have problems in school. he tried to comply our projects such as lipak, brooms, organic fertilizer etc, except for our academic projects. he is just an elementary graduate and has limited knowledge on academic. yet, he used his strength to comply things that he can.
despite of the circumstances, me and my brother managed to be an honor student in school, so when the recognition/graduation day come, he would bring a chicken as it was a tradition to bring a chicken when you are an honor student, he would buy us new clothes and shoes. he would talk to the only photographer in our barrio to get us some picture when he will pinned our ribbons, so he can send it to mama.
as a kid, i am always sick but i am a hyper one. when i am in a good condition. i ran, i climbed trees and played chinese garter and i can do the cartwheel perfectly, i can bend my body, i play jolen, winner and more. i have asthma, though papa would remind me not to play much but i did not listen and i don't care. there was a a lot of instances that my asthma would attacked that i am having a hard time breathing. so, he would bring me to a quack doctor in a middle of a rainy cold night. there were many nights that he was sleepless just to attend and massage my back when i can hardly breath.
during my elementary graduation he bought me a new clothes and shoes, it was not the best clothes in town but it was his best.
when i was in high school i was the representative for our section for ms bb wika, he ask his tailor friend to make a gown for me, and there, i was the best in gown.
there are lot of things that papa did for us, i just cannot remember it all. in short he would kill a dinosaur for us. it may be because of fear that he might be blame by mama if something bad happen to us, but i am sure it is also because of his unconditional love. he has a lot of weakness, of course he is human.
years and years have pass, me and my brother are used to with our situation. my mother would come home every two years and would stay just for one month or two weeks. i already graduated from college and now working in a bpo company while my brother is still in his forth year in college. we became good kid though and responsible maybe.
mama is still working as a domestic helper abroad.
and papa is at home..... faithfully waiting...
maybe waiting in vain...
maybe not...
who knows what life brings....
there could be happy ending ..
hopefully...
being able to wait is a sign of true love and patience. anyone can say "i love you" but not everyone can wait and prove that its true. - www.livelifehappy.com
there are a lot to write about my father, but i am not a good writer. i am not good in english though, but i can't express it in cebuano or tagalog. this is not being biased i love both my parents and my brother and i will write about my mother next time.
*whoever wants to help or to correct my english / grammar etc. just email it to me at naivegascon@gmail.com. thanks in advance.
